Mt. Whitney Climb

Well, Survive the City Blog Readers, I've been out of commission for a while now working on SurviveTheCity.com, but the fact is (and this is just my humble opinion), nothing beats some of my original La La Land stories - that is, of course, when the adventures are big and the funny moments are plentiful.

So, Kevin and I climbed Mt. Whitney this past weekend with a friend of Kevin's from work (Danny) and a friend of Kevin's from Chicago (Justin) who we will lovingly call "Clutch" from here on out. Let's just say that aside from the cold nights and being in a constant anaerobic state for 60 hours, it was a blast. So let the stories begin...

We're Going to Use the Proper Terms

We arrived in Lone Pine - the quaint town at the base of Mt. Whitney - on Thursday evening and stopped at the local climber's store, "Elevation." Here we would be loading up with the remaining gear we needed like snow shoes, helmets and cramp-ons.

Danny practices his self-arresting skills

The "mom-and-pop" establishment was owned by a climbing couple each equipped with lengthy outdoor resumes and accompanying egos to boot. They had a way about them that seemed to say, "We're going to resent you just a little bit b/c while we're "living the dream" in our shop, you're out there actually living it." Nonetheless, they had an excellent selection (and better clothing than any outdoor shop I've been in). They were extremely helpful in outfitting us with our gear and didn't hesitate to offer up advice.

When Danny asked about the route we'd be taking and referred to it as "the shorter route," the owner promptly corrected, "We'll call it by its proper name - the Mountaineers Route".

Okay then.

So we left the shop, prepared for our journey (as best we could) and ready to climb the Mountaineers Route of Mt. Whitney - the tallest mountain in the continental US.

Don't Drink and Drive

After escaping Elevation, we picked up a bottle of Gentleman's Jack and decided to head up to the trailhead (or at least the snowy road leading to it) to "acclimate" ourselves and check out what was ahead of us. Videos of the event will show us laughing and giggling as we ride up the icy drive and then, quick, a cut to us stuck in the snow about 25 yards past the "Road Closed" sign.

See the Elevation owner had suggested it would be okay to drive past the "Road Closed" sign -after all, the further we got up the road, the less we'd have to hike. Well, we didn't get far.

After about a half hour of pushing the car, revving the gears and digging out ice and snow with our pic axes, we finally removed the car from its wintery fate and returned to town to check in to the hotel.

Creepy Justin and Old Bottles

As we pulled into the hotel parking lot I noticed a young man starring out the window at us in a very "Hannibal Lecter" manner. A few moments passed before I said, "Wow, he was super creepy."

A sigh of agreement passed over the lips of my traveling partners as they returned, "Oh yeah, did you noticed that too?! Soooo creepy."

We entered the hotel and as "creepy guy" was with a customer we retreated to the back sitting area of the lodge which was decked out with John Wayne memorabilia and a very interesting ceiling fan with which Clutch was very familiar. The fan kept us entertained as we waited for "Creepy Guy" to become available for our check-in.

After checking in Kevin returned to explain that "Creepy Guy's" name was Justin and while he didn't fancy climbing huge mountains like Whitney, he did enjoy excavating old outhouses (and the deep holes below them) to uncover artifacts like.... old bottles.

And that's when Clutch randomly decided that "Old Bottles" was a great name for a cat. From then on out we had a "cat" in our group. "Oh, Old Bottles... you silly ol' cat you...."

And we couldn't even blame it on the altitude.

In the hotel we dined on the first of many "Chef Kevin- meals" and packed our packs for our trip.


The Mother Load?

Friday morning found us seated around a four-person table in a local cafe. The menu read "For the Hungry Climber." Well clearly that was us! Considering the fact that these particular selections must have been expertly designed with a climber's needs in mind, we each selected the meal called "The Mother Load."

The waitress suggested we move to a larger table that could accommodate the size of our selection.

12 eggs, 2 pancakes, 16 pieces of bacon, piles of hashbrowns, toast and buscuits later we left, stomachs full, and ready for the assent!

What's Brown and Sticky?

Friday morning we awoke to the sound of Danny's chirping cell phone. Seriously, what's with the cricket nosies for an alarm?

We headed up the road to get started on the hike, only this time we made sure to stop before the "Road Closed" sign. We parked the car and unloaded. What a trip we had ahead of us!

The road was undrivable four miles away from the trailhead, so our hike started with an uphill hike along the switchback. We moved steadily along the ridge watching our car become matchbox-sized as it faded into the distance. The snow was thick, but the sun was hot. We soon realized that layering and delayering would become a common ritual for the weekend.

As we walked along single file, Clutch decided it was an appropriate time to begin telling jokes. He started with one about a Muffin, then there was one about some Nuns and of course your typical "guy walks into a bar" jokes (only in Clutch's case, the "guy" was a string). Then I told what later became the "joke of the weekend."

"What's brown and sticky?" I asked from the back of the lineup. No one answered.

"A stick!" I exclaimed.

So what is brown and sticky Clutch?

I got the best reaction from that joke than ever before.

"A stick, a stick," Clutch laughed. And that was that. From then on, any time we ran in to someone one the trail (all of about three people), someone would ask the person, "Hey, what's brown and sticky?"

After a few hours, we finally reached the start of the trail and we were ready to head up the mountain!


Climbing - Day 1

There was so much snow that I led the group right past the entrance to the trail, but once we found it, we began to climb up into the beautiful mountains. We stopped for lunch early on plopping down into the snow and leaning against rocks on the trail.

Clutch quickly located the fatty slice of sausage from the "doggy bag" Kevin had packed us for our ration of lunches and breakfasts.

It's amazing what you'll eat when you're eating for energy. "My legs are thanking me," Clutch said as he swallowed the sausage.

For me, climbing was definitely a challenge. It required an extreme amount of endurance as we climbed higher and higher carrying our heavy packs.

Eventually we stopped to put our snow shoes on and then continued to climb up to camp.

The views from the mountain were breathtaking. You don't say much as you climb. It's so quiet and peaceful on the mountain that all you really hear is the sound of your own breath as you exhale heavily. Climbing to the "top of the world" really is an incredible experience. You push your limits and though you aren't alone, you spend a lot of time with yourself.

Each time the climb got steeper, I'd have to talk to myself. "Just move to the top of this section and you'll get to rest," or "Come on, you can do this. One step at a time." It was very rewarding because the further we went, the more beautiful the scenery got. The mountain was ours and the views were our reward.


At Camp
By the time we reached camp, the thought of climbing any higher was unbearable. We pitched our tents upon rocks so as to avoid having to dig out areas in the snow. We struggled to stay warm as Kevin cooked us a dinner of El Gratten potatoes and Lobster Ravioli. Luxury in a pot.

It was only about 6:30 when we headed off to bed, but staying awake would most likely mean sitting outside of the semi-warm tent, so we opted for early to bed, early to rise. We had a summit to reach!

Kevin and I lay awake in the tent studying the map. We determined it was about a mile to the summit, but a mile, in these shoes, was going to be a huge distance. We'd be lucky to make the summit by 3pm at which point we'd have to turn around or risk having to descend in the dark.

This is the view we woke up to Saturday morning. We'd be leaving some of our gear behind and hiking up to the summit which you can (almost) see from this picture... you get the idea.

It's cold in the tent

The Climb - Day 2

Breakfast was an afterthought as we headed out on Saturday morning. We had to reach the summit no later than 3pm. We left our tents and sleeping bags along with some of our gear back at the campsite. Our packs were lighter but the climb was far from easy.

Up, up, up we climbed. Each time I thought I couldn't go any further, we'd break just long enough for me to regain some energy. Then finally one last steep hill really got me.

I called to Kevin saying I'd be hanging back. It had already been determined that we would probably not make the summit, but even though I'd said I was going to stop, I kept going until finally I didn't have any more in me. I took a rest on a rock for about 45 minutes while the guys continued. Then I heard Kevin in the distance returning back over the hill. His knee was giving out, so he had turned around leaving Danny and Clutch with about two hours of time to continue.

After another nap, Kevin and I turned back towards camp. We descended down the first hill and rested at the bottom, looking up occasionally into the sun and hoping to catch a sign that the guys were returning. Finally, we saw two dots rising over the hill. We followed the dots as they went down the hill, but soon they stopped right on the trail. Their summit attempt must have been tiring, as they rested on the hillside before descending again to camp.

When we had all returned to camp, Danny and Clutch had a video for us. They had made it to the summit, so they claimed. But the video revealed an excited Danny waving a t-shirt around...and then you could hear Clutch's voice: "Hey Danny, what's that?" he asked moving the camera to reveal the the actual summit.

Well, they didn't make it to the top, but they sure did do it in style!



The Decent

That night we ate dinner and discussed the various ways we might have improved our chances of summiting: Leaving earlier in the morning, extending the trip, not having to walk 4 miles just to get to the trail!!..... they were all options, but we were still happy with our experience.

Sunday morning we woke up and packed up our camp. Our bags, now back to their heavier weight, were thrown on to our tired backs as we headed back down to civilization.

Clutch pointed out that Kevin reminded him of the little "Mountain Climber man" on that game on The Price Is Right. We all laughed in agreement.

The downhill of the trip was quite a change of pace. However, I never realized how tiring going downhill could actually be. It was a tad bit more fun though. The guys rolled around and jumped off rocks and I slid on my butt a few times as it was much more fun than climbing down.

When we reached town, exhausted and ecstatic, we headed strait for the town's pizza parlor and ordered the biggest pie they had. Then, we returned to the motel for a hot tub soak before heading home to LA.